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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Day 78

Suffering angel

Thoughts: I get emails from people who have had eating disorders, or have them currently, and from both females and males, that have caused them to be unhealthy and create dis-ease in their body. The Earth Diet is all about restoring love and nuture in the body by eating foods directly from nature. I want to share one of them today...named anonymous due to the request of the person. And first of all I want to acknowledge this person for having the courage to write this, and allow me to share it, so thank you for contributing!

"i AM FAT. My body if puffy and chunky. I have a huge butt that sticks out and giggles and I HATE MY BODY when it's not slim and lean and fit. I only feel good when I am fit. My belly is disguisting. It is puffy and giggly. My legs are short and stubby, full of cellulite, and make me look fatter than I am. I want to be thin and pretty with straight blond hair and NO PUFFINESS. I just have to accept it in order to be sane. My overall well being depends on it. I will never be good enough so why bother. I will never have the perfect body. I will never be the girl men dream of so there is no point. My skin is shit. My bowel is shit. I am full of shit which makes me toxic and negative. I am stuck in a vicious cycle that will never end. My bowel wont work because my mind is messed. And my mind is messed because my bowel won't work. I have spent thousands trying to fix the problem and it still hasn't changed. I am completely resigned to the fact that it will be like this forever. It's part of life. Suck it up and deal with it. Get over yourself. Quit being so absorbed and superficial. That's what I think. I feel huge and bloated and jiggly and puffy and fat. Nobody likes people that look that way. I want to be lean and muscular and fit and I want nice abs and a smaller butt and skinny legs. I need to work out every day and change my workouts regulary. Other people don't have to do that to stay skinny. It's not fair. I do everything right yet I still can't shed the pounds. I am not meant to be beautiful and perfect and will always struggle. It's just part of life I am convinced there is nothing I can do"

Challenges: Wow getting that people suffer. And how much it is prohibiting on a persons life. I had many similiar thoughts like this for my 5 years bingeing, and still I have some conversations about myself and my body that create suffering. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Triumphs: Creating this Earth Diet.

What I Ate Today:

Breakfast: Some organic grapes. Water with juice from a lemon. A nectarine, a pear.

Lunch: Yesterdays vegetables! Eggplant, brocoli, beans, tomato, zuchinni, onion, garlic, steamed with fresh basil and thyme! Chocolate balls with walnuts and macadamias! Recipe below!

Dinner: A salad with green lettuce, purple lettuce, spinach with avocado with lemon and olive oil dressing. Macadamias and goji berries and walnuts.

Dessert: No Dessert.

Snacks: A pear. Sweet sweet lichees!

Recipe: Chocolate balls:
1. Cocoa powder
2. Agave syrup
3. walnuts
4. macadamias
5. water
6. almond or hazelnut meal

Directions: (Use your own natural human intuition for the measurements)
1. Mix the cocoa powder, almond/hazelnut meal together in a bowl.
2. Add agave syrup and water. Mix it together so you have a smooth dry consistency.
3. Add the whole or chopped walnuts or macadamias! MMM MMM!
4. Roll into balls and eat fresh, or put them in the fridge or freezer to eat them nice and cold :)

Exercise: Swimming laps...lots of them ;) 750 meters am training for my surf life saving certificate! And ab work for 30 minutes.

287 Days to go!!

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