Thursday, April 29, 2010
Thoughts: FAT THOUGHTS Make You Fat was yesterdays blog, today we look at THE ANATOMY OF A FAT THOUGHT with Mary Sue Abernethy.
WHY THEY HAPPEN
You think when you look in the mirror and feel self hatred or disgust, if you hate yourself or the fat on your body enough it will force you to stop eating and loose weight, when in fact most often fat thoughts make you eat more now or later. Yo-Yo Diet Cycle
1. OUR FEELINGS SOMETIMES ARE LESS THAN IDEAL
We each have a particular self-image. We would prefer to strike from the record any thoughts or feelings which run counter to our ideas about who we are. It makes us anxious to think of ourselves as not living up to our ideals. Instead of experiencing the letdown and dealing with the possibility that your expectations of yourself are unrealistic or that circumstances have simply prevented you from having something you want and day by day that can change, you eat.
2. FORBIDDEN FEELINGS
These have to do with notions we developed as children. It is about the power of our wishes, where a wish is equivalent to a deed, a thought equivalent to an action.
Some compulsive eaters fear the forbidden emotion of anger, others fear lust, and still others fear jealousy. The list is as endless as the variety of emotions you can feel. Regardless, we continue to fear what we consider to be unacceptable thoughts, feelings, and wishes, and compulsive eaters attempt to erase these thoughts with food before even realizing that you have them.
3. STRONG FEELINGS
Some of us are less concerned with the permissibility of the thought or feeling than with the intensity, fearing we will be overwhelmed by them. "If I feel sad, I'll never stop being depressed." "If I get angry, I'll go out of control." Compulsive eaters also fear a change in the status quo. Any strong feeling or change results in the reach for food. We are in need of a carefully controlled atmosphere or a better method of having feelings come and go and experiencing the fact that we are still here, we are “ok”.
All of these situations occur because we make food magic - we give it magical powers. This is much the same way that a child's Teddy Bear represents all the care and support that its’ owner has known or wanted. Food represents mother, father, family, love, safety, strength, comfort, power, support, and on and on. The problem is that food is not mother, father, family, love, safety, strength, comfort, power, support, and so on. While these are symbols, with the power to make us feel safe, food is not the same as any of these other symbols. When food is used for comfort, its proper function is neglected entirely and it becomes addicting instead of enabling. A Teddy Bear helps a child make the transition from dependent care, to the knowledge s/he can ensure her/his own well-being. The Teddy Bear is eventually left behind and becomes no more special than any other stuffed toy. Food, however, keeps us stuck, unable to get the real needs taken care of. When that happens compulsive eating stops being the problem, fat thoughts lessen over time and you will translate them more rapidly.
THE ANATOMY OF A FAT THOUGHT
1. YOU BEGIN WITH AN UNLABELED DISCOMFORT
2. YOU EAT TO DISTRACT YOURSELF-usually without true belly hunger- AND TO TRY TO FEEL BETTER
3. AFTER YOU FINISH EATING YOU FEEL ANXIOUS and physically uncomfortable
4. YOU TRANSLATE YOUR ANXIETY INTO A FAT FEELING!
The uncomfortable feeling turns into a Fat Feeling AND fat thoughts & feelings don’t help you, they just re-create the problem…… eating to soothe rather than for belly hunger!
5. YOU EXPERIENCE PAINFUL THOUGHTS...
ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST ATE, YOUR WEIGHT, OR HOW YOUR BODY LOOKS.
You have just made the TRANSLATION from the language of feelings into the language of FAT! Compulsive eating is a way of coping with discomfort and a low Sense Of Self by translating complex concerns into an obsessive preoccupation with eating, weight and body size.
You are telling the truth, but in TRANSLATION!
You are referring to something else that you feel bad about. You eat through the difficulty or yell at yourself about your size and weight, and then you say the problem is fat on your body (it didn’t appear overnight!), instead of recognizing what you are really needing, thinking/believing or feeling that needs to be addressed.
WHY WE KEEP THE "FAT THOUGHT" CIRCUIT ALIVE- and what you can do differently.
1. It is simpler to reduce all life's problems into an eating/weight problem.
Having fat thoughts, thinking about dieting, staying busy counting fats and calories is all MUCH EASIER than dealing directly with the sophisticated issues in our lives! If you stop the fat thoughts, you break the circuit and can stop calling all your problems a fat problem. Then you can really discover what you are needing, meet the need, and feel calmer while you practice conscious eating, and Responsive Eating
2. It could feel scary to stop translating all problems into an eating/weight problem.
If you stop your fat thoughts you will be challenged to come up with real solutions to life's challenges. It can be overwhelming to begin trying to solve issues around relationships, parenting responsibilities, job security, financial needs, or emotional needs. It feels so much easier to say the solution to dealing with my life is just simply to stay busy hating my body and thinking about dieting. Until you take a look at the real issues nothing can change. It is not as hard as it seems, many have “been there done that” and are free of eating and weight issues and have lost weight while translating Fat Thoughts.
3. You have grown accustomed to hating your body
While having fat thoughts and hating your body is painful, it is for many of us the only way we know how to be with ourselves. In a strange way keeping with the familiar...even when it is painful...can seem comforting. And, most of us have very little information about how we might relate to our bodies' positively: we live in a culture where the sole theme is the suggestion that you should be very dissatisfied with your body.
Dieting, compulsive eating, and Fat Thoughts function as a way to keep people fat and from having their feelings. If you can stop dieting & interrupt your fat thoughts you can begin to identify the feelings & issues that lie beneath and take care of them. Once you do that you are on your way to understanding yourself better. You will feel calmer, you will think more clearly, and you will be better able to direct your life in a way that optimizes your happiness!
What you can do differently.
Once you notice the “Fat Thought”: Remember the body is listening to you are thinking!
1. Apologize to yourself for insulting yourself.
2. Ask: WHAT AM I NEEDING/Wanting? I know you want weight loss it is coming ☺!
WHAT AM I FEELING?
WHAT AM I THINKING/BELIEVING?
And Stay Fascinated, say with delight......I am so fascinating, I am translating feelings into “fat thoughts”. I can figure this out and meet my real needs.
I have to if I want to really lose weight and keep it off.
Mmm mmm mmm that was beautiful Mary thankyou, it resonated with every measure of my spiritual heart.
Copyright © Mary Sue Abernethy 2009 www.weight-loss-choose-inner-wisdom.com
Challenges: Well only this word to my left, this word challenge, well that is my challenge and I am challenged every day and night and that is my challenge, that I like to be challenged why do I like to be challenged and then that is just more of a challenge. Do you get my song?
Triumphs: People love my little !!! !!!! !!!! !!!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!!!!
What I Ate Today:
Breakfast: Water with lemon squeezed in it. A grapefruit.
Lunch: Thai Curry potatoes, that we cooked last night carried into todays lunch mm mm mm mm mmm mmm mmm mmm mm mmm mmm obviously it was mmm mm mmmmmmm
Dinner: Walnut patte wrapped in lettuce with avocado. They are VERY creamy, kind of like a warm syrup, like a ludge of creem cheese in your mouth for you cheese lovers, like thick moist coconut! Recipe below!
Dessert: Chocolateballs with peanut butter!!!!! Extra !!!!!! Recipe as always on blog day 115!!!
Snacks: Sweet sweet pineapple! And a beet and carrot and ginger and celery juice!
- 1 handful walnuts or brazil nuts (1/2 to 1 cup)
- 1/8th to 1/4 cup young coconut meat
- tablespoon of fresh rosemary
Process above together in food processor. Pulse until nice chunky paté mixture (not too smooth, or the brazil nuts start to get really oily)...
Scoop in to bowl and add a handful of cut wakame seaweed (available at Asian markets), and himalayan salt and season to taste...
Slice up cucumber rounds and put the paté on top like on a cracker...
Or wrap in lettuce with avocado and tomato slices...
Recipe from www.thegardendiet.com
Exercise: Walking around, laying around, practising loving and trusting myself
190 days to go!!!