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Friday, November 5, 2010

Day 363

Thoughts: Guilt has more calories than food.

Previous to The Earth diet I had a habit of eating foods and feeling guilty about it after wards. Insane. I was certain that I wanted to be healthy and eat only healthy foods and then I would slip up and pig out on junk food. It happened so quickly and then all of a sudden I felt tired, sluggish and low. I was keeping the very thing I despised about myself alive by repeating this behaviour over and over again. This is an example of my mind having me, instead of me having it. The little voice would talk, I would identify with it and do the action it called for. This is an example of the disease of the human condition.

Eckhart Tolle explains, "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence". The only way I knew how to deal with what I just did was to feel guilty about it, and how that somehow made it ok that I would do it. 'Well totally pig out but make sure you feel guilty about it afterwards, for you can't just do that and feel good about it' would be the conversation in my head. Creating a 'guilty' experience allowed me to feel ok with what I just did and that I could repeat it over and over again.

Creating The Earth diet was a declaration to my self that I would eat only foods that provided me with nutritional value provided naturally from the earth for 365 days. I learned to digest the guilt by being present in a state of acceptance. "Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally."

I also believed that I would find some kind of escape, some kind of outside drug in food. I learned that nothing out there will ever satisfy me except temporarily and superficially, and that I needed to experience many disappointments and sluggish experiences before I realized that truth.

That is just a part of it however. The guilt I experienced didn't go away just by changing my eating habits. For I realized that if I didn't tackle or recognize the structure in my mind for what it is then I would always believe that the answer to solving this question lies in the realm of content.

In other words, content is the situation. So if I change the situation perhaps I won't feel guilty anymore.

This would be if you think that this so-called problem, it's not a real problem, it’s a mind created problem.

If you believe that this problem can be solved on an external level by changing something that you do, it will not because no matter what situation you go into, the guilt will come back.

So the mind, no matter what situation you go into, will bring out the same structures. So unless you are very alert and you recognize that these are egoic mind structures, nothing to do with content, then you realize that what the ego, one of the jobs of the ego is to blame others.

Another job of the ego is to make yourself feel guilty. Both of these things strengthen your sense of identity, they are negative senses of identity. And the ego loves to have a strong sense of identity and no sense of identity is stronger than the negative one, where you condemn yourself for something.

And so and you can see from an objectively speaking, it doesn't make sense to feel guilty in any situation.

And your mind works according to its old conditioning. So recognize when those thoughts come, recognize that these are not actual valid thoughts that are actually concerning a true situation. They are thoughts generated by the ego.

And if you can recognize them as thoughts generated by the ego, structural, not content based, then in the moment of recognition, they begin to lose their power over you. They will try to come in. It's not that you can't do it just for once, they will try to come in the next day.

And if you do slip up and eat something YOU didn't intend, enjoy the experience of eating it. Choose it fully. Dive into the taste, really taste it, be aware of all the sensations. For you are in the moment choosing to eat it, otherwise you wouldn't be eating it! And then if you like, if this particular food or foods doesn't fit in with your original objective to live in an abundance of health, then re-choose who you are going to be for example, 'I choose to eat only foods that provide me with nutrition, goodness, vitamins, nurturing, energy and love'.

Your next Earth Diet Challenge begins next Thursday 11th of November!

Quotes: A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

What I Ate Today:

Meal 1: A glass of water with a squeeze of half a lemon.

Meal 2: A grapefruit, lemon and orange juice - zing ;)

Meal 3: Cantaloupe (Rockmelon)

Meal 4: A Raw Chocolate Peanut Butter Brownie :)

Meal 5: 2 avocados.

Meal 6: Chicken Lettuce Wraps. Created with bamboo shoots, water chestnuts, sherry, organic peanut butter or crushed peanuts, chili, agave syrup, garlic, ginger, free range organic chicken, himalayan salt, olive oil, lettuce, green onion and cucumber!

Meal 7: Fresh sweet delicious Pineapple.

Recipe:All recipes will be published in The Earth diet book and are available free on The Earth Diet website www.TheEarthDiet.Org

Exercise: A Zumba Dance class at Big Al's Family Fitness, stretching in the sauna and yoga at night :)

2 days to go!!!

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